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No Pineapple Left Behind - school sim coming to PC soon

by: Nathaniel -
More On: No Pineapple Left Behind

I had to recheck the date on this one twice just to make sure I wasn't falling for some delayed April Fool's prank, and now I'm satisfied that it's real.  

No Pineapple Left Behind, from Subaltern Games, is a satirical school management simulator.  You are the principle at a run-of-the-mill everyday high school and since a wizard has turned all the students into pineapples, you no longer have to deal with all those nasty complications you might encounter if you were dealing with humans.  The hook is that children can get better grades than pineapples.  That's your dilemma: pineapples are easier to deal with but children perform better.  Oh satire, where would we be without you?

No Pineapple Left Behind is coming to PC, MAC, Linux, and Steam in the future.  Watch the trailer, find more details after the jump, and if you're curious about the pineapples, then go here

No Pineapple Left Behind Trailer is a Lesson in Education Economics

April 9, 2015 - Sit down and pay attention! Today's lesson is all about No Pineapple Left Behind, a satirical simulation of modern education and the tireless pursuit to create the perfect student body.

Watch the new education film:

As the principal, it is your duty to manage the staff and finances (even if that means fudging a few numbers), deal with bothersome parents, create the curriculum, and ultimately churn out the best little test-takers possible for the prestige of the school.

Good thing for you, an evil wizard has turned all the children into studious little pineapples.

But, there's a problem. Your diligent pineapples keep turning back into children. Sure, human children 'can' get better grades, but they are so troublesome, incessantly complaining, procrastinating, and snapping selfies when they should be studying. Tests are coming up and order must be maintained.

?? Manage the school's curriculums, students, and staff without going bankrupt.
?? Dehumanize the children, turning them into orderly pineapples. Or??
?? Deal with the complications of human children for potentially better grades.
?? Address parental concerns, or maybe ignore them altogether.
?? Lump the bad students together, expel them, or even lie about their grades.
?? Maintain a small staff of top-tier teachers, or a large group of burned-out, underpaid teachers.


@SubalternGames @Mastertronic

About Subaltern Games
Subaltern Games is a rag-tag group of misfits. Some of them live in Boston (the rest wish that they did). They make leftist satirical games. No Pineapple Left Behind is their current project. Seth, the Captain of Industry, is making the game as a response to his old job as a teacher.


Title: No Pineapple Left Behind
Developer: Subaltern Games
Publisher: Mastertronic
Genre: Management Sim
Platforms: PC, Mac, Linux
Release Date: TBA
Price: TBA