Picture 4: These Old Creepy Buildings Need More Visible House Numbers
Don't you hate it when it's late at night and you can't find a house because the owners refuse to put their address front and center? Well, that appears to be the problem that Edward is having in this Alone in the Dark screenshot. Had the owners of this house put their numbers front and center (and maybe even in front of some sort of light), he would have realized that this is actually 5708 Central Park Dr., not the 5705 Central Park Dr. address he was going for. It's a simple enough mistake; the other house is up the hill and kind a bit out of sight. But then again, red flags should have gone up the moment he saw this place. This doesn't look like the Happy Meadows Day-Care center. At least, I hope it isn't the Happy Meadows Day-Care center ... because if it is then they may want to think about a name change.
Picture 5: You Should Always Pay Attention To What You're Burning!
Starring in so many Alone in the Dark games has clearly gone to Edward's head, but that doesn't mean that he should start mugging for the camera. What's more, he definitely shouldn't do that when lighting bad guys on fire. There's a time and a place for those sort of antics (right before you're about to get your ass handed to you on American Gladiators), but maybe not when you're trying to save the world (or at least Central Park) from being destroyed by these spider-looking creatures. When I see a picture like this I want to just yell at Edward, "Hey!! Look at what you're doing, not at me. You're going to get us all killed if you keep mugging for the camera!" But then I realize that if he was able to hear me then he probably would have heeded my advice and ran as far away from Central Park as he could get.
Picture 6: Always Remember to Pack Appropriately
It's always a good idea to know what you need for your journeys and make a checklist. Let's face it, when you're trying to save the world alone, you can't accidentally forget something at home. In this picture it looks like Edward decided to pack the bare essentials, which includes a gun, lighter, PDA and ... a needle and thread? Okay, I'm sure that bottom pocket could be used for something more useful. Like, I don't know, how about a pen and paper, just in case you need to leave a note (or let somebody know where you are). Or, and I know this is really stretching it, a few extra rounds of ammunition. And that's just the useful stuff. Perhaps what he should have brought is one of those Clorox Bleach Pens, that way he could clean up those bloody marks on his shirt before they stain. I mean really.
What Have We Learned?
Judging by these pictures I can tell that this game will mostly take place at night, menace you with fire and feature disgusting four-legged bug-like creatures. I can also tell you that it looks like this game will be a non-stop thrill ride from start to finish. At least, it better be, because this game has been in development far too long for it to be just another generic survival horror game. Find out if my comments ring true when you play the game on June 24th. Until then you should check out the entire picture archive and see if you can piece the mystery together.
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