Alone in the Dark (Hands off)

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posted 6/24/2008 by Cyril Lachel
other articles by Cyril Lachel
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Every day Gaming Nexus is sent brand new screenshots for a whole host of video games. Issued by the companies (or their PR department), these pictures are meant to get us excited about some big upcoming game. But without having a chance to sit down with the game and test it out for ourselves it's impossible for us to bring you real preview. So in an attempt to rectify this problem we have decided to post the pictures and tell you what we've learned from them. That doesn't mean that we'll actually have any useful insight regarding these pictures, but at least you'll have the chance to see the pictures for yourself. Up first we have Atari's newest "survival horror" game, something they've been working on for a number of years. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the one, the only ...

ALONE IN THE DARK

Alone in the Dark Summary:
In the first new Alone in the Dark game in seven years, Edward Carnby is back to take on supernatural enemies threatening to destroy New York City's famed Central Park. No, I'm not talking about bums and hobos, but actual creatures that seem hell-bent on destroying Liberty City ... er, New York City. Little is known about the actual story of Alone in the Dark, but if it's anything like the past games, then you'll be stuck in increasingly scarier situations from scene to scene. There will be copious amounts of puzzles to solve, blood on the walls, and fires to put out. Will Atari's newest survival horror game be enough to tide you over until Resident Evil 5 and Silent Hill: Homecoming? Take a look at these pictures (and the wild assumptions I've made) to find out for yourself.

Picture 1: "A drink for me, and one for my homies!"
In this screenshot we learn that even though Edward is being hunted by strange supernatural creatures, he still has enough time (and foresight) to go pour out some alcohol for his fallen homies. I'm not sure if that's there to indicate that Edward has seen a lot of his friends die recently, but it does show that he has a good nature about things and is often respectful. Then again, this isn't the kind of thing you would add on your Match.com profile. It's not often you hear somebody say something like this: "I love to run, jog, take long walks on the beach, and pour out my alcohol for my fallen homies." You just don't see that any more. I can only hope that Edward also flashes gang signs, wears oversized clocks for no reason at all, and is on the ultimate quest to rhyme "orange" with something ... anything.

Picture 2: Sometimes It's Better to Just Use a Flashlight!
I hate to tell Edward how to do his job, but there is something to be said about spending the extra few bucks and getting the extra strength flashlights. For one thing you will save money on lighter fluid, which should pay for itself by the second or third Alone in the Dark game. But, more importantly, with a simple flashlight you won't, I don't know, ACCIDENTALLY CATCH THE WHOLE PLACE ON FIRE! And you thought that Edward had problems before, now he has to put up with Central Park on fire. He couldn't have just left good enough alone, he had to accidentally light the whole park on fire. And for what, to kill a few supernatural bad guys? I have a hunch that when the NYFD is charging you for arson they aren't going to care how many supernatural baddies you managed to take out. Let's face it, supernatural baddies is just your average day at Central Park.

Picture 3: Rule One of Surviving a Survival Horror Game!
I know I shouldn't have to say this, but there are specific rules to how you can survive until the end of a survival horror video game. The first, and most important, rule is to never, under any circumstances, should you enter a creepy abandoned building. How do you know it's creepy? First you check to make sure the building has electricity, if it doesn't then it's probably not someplace you want to check out. This is especially true if you are all by yourself and nobody responds when you call out to check if there are other survivors. If you find yourself in this situation trust me, there is no reason to stick around. Something bad is bound to happen, so adventuring further into a creepy house with no electricity is just plain stupid. Instead I recommend you turn around, walk out that door and head to the beautiful state of Hawaii. Trust me; Hawaii is the place to go, because nobody has ever based a survival horror game on the tropical islands of Hawaii.
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