Straight Scoop Vol.1, No. 8


posted 10/28/2002 by Michael Askounes
other articles by Michael Askounes
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Wednesday, October 23

Ubisoft announced that its action/sports X-Box title Deathrow has shipped to retailers nationwide. The game features a mix between a futuristic team sport and deadly melee fighting elements, and allows you to win by either scoring more goals than the opponent or by simply beating the living hell out of the opposing players. National Hockey League commissioner Gary Bettman was unavailable for comment.

Globalstar Software released a curling simulation titled Takeout Weight Curling today. Sometimes you just can’t make this stuff up…

Xicat Interactive’s unfortunately timed Sniper: Path of Vengeance was understandably pulled from Walmart shelves in the Washington DC are due to the sniper shootings taking place in that area. This is consistent with the pulling of SimMayor: Crack Addict that occurred in the area around 15 years ago. Hey, the bitch set him up!

Thursday, October 24

Nintendo finally revealed what it has in store for folks who use the link cable to connect Gameboy Advance’s Metroid Fusion to the upcoming Metroid Prime for the Gamecube. However, they didn’t tell us at Gaming Nexus, so we’re assuming what will happen is that you will be sucked into an alternate universe where Nintendo actually has a responsive and helpful PR department.

Just joking, Nintendo! Remember… we kid because we love!!!

In a blatant attempt to suck up to Nintendo after that last news blurb, I’m proud to announce that Konami’s incredibly fantastic console RPG Suikoden III shipped to stores today. Of course, that doesn’t really help me with Nintendo because it’s a PS2 title…

In other news, my mother moved in with my wife and I today… and will apparently be staying with us for a few months. So, if any of you have a basement I can sleep in when my wife throws me out of the house in a couple of weeks, please e-mail me at I don’t eat much…

Friday, October 25

Folks who visit Blizzard’s website at can see a new gameplay trailer for their upcoming X-Box title, Starcraft: Ghost. Judging from the looks of things, it certainly seems that Blizzard is ready to deliver a must-have action/strategy title for the X-Box. Is it just me (or “Is it just I” for those of you using Microsoft’s grammar checker), or does it feel like the X-Box is really starting to gather up some steam for a run at the Playstation 2? I’ll have to think that over as I spend my evenings playing Animal Crossing, Mario Sunshine, and Eternal Darkness

A 75-year old Minnesota man was shot on a hunting expedition by none other than his faithful dog (named “Sonny”) when the pooch accidentally stepped on the man’s 12-guage shotgun as the hunter lined up dead birds he’d killed for a photograph. The man received 15 stitches at a local hospital and is expected to make a full recovery. Sonny – lighting up a fresh cigar and sipping on a bone-dry martini - commented after the incident, “That was just a warning. Next time that cheap f*cker feeds me dry food, I’ll take his goddamn head off. Humping his leg was apparently too subtle for the old coot.

That’s all for this week, check back next Monday morning for the next edition! Same Game Time… Same Game Channel!

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