posted 1/8/2010 by Dave Gamble
other articles by Dave Gamble
One Page Platforms: Wii

That said, the issue is not so much with the idea but with the implementation. The initial discussions surely would have made sense:

Ok, easy-to-use, benign, and appealing to various age groups. What else has those traits?”

Toilet paper!”

Uh, no. Anyone else?”

Cell phones!”

[Two hours of discussion ensue]

Ok, so there's too much disparity in the various cell phone platforms, plus there's no human interface to them that resembles a weapon. Keep thinking!”

Hey, what about the Wii? It has that little swing around remote controller thingy, and literally everyone under the age of 12 has one. And the parents play them too!”


[Four hours of discussion ensue]

Well, that all sound great, but we don't know how to develop games.”

And, as it turns out, that guy was right. Too bad he was howled out of the room and beaten up in the men's room after lunch. He was also not invited to sit on the committee that designed the game. Had he been, he might have provided some meaningful direction to the design. Instead, the result was a game that clearly tried to use the same NERF-appeal bullet points rather than be designed as a form of entertainment. One can almost deconstruct the thought process:

It has to be approachable to very young people.”

Ok, put the main character on rails. Don't even allow the player to control where the character is looking. Just let the player move a reticle around the screen shooting at anything that moves. Even a diaper-clad preemie could handle that.”

But will that appeal to older ages too?”

No, not really, but they're going to buy it just because of the NERF name. They trust us.”

And that is how good brands die.

For $60 (quite tellingly reduced to $39 at Walmart right after Xmas) you get a $15 NERF gun and a game that would have been better served up by including it as a freebie in a box of Froot Loops. The game itself is the very definition of shovelware, suitable for ages three to four. Naturally, it carries an ESRB content rating of 10+, thus ensuring that anyone in the ESRB-approved age bracket will find it painfully boring. A better way to spend the $60 would be to buy the $15 NERF gun and use the other $45 to buy a decent Wii game. Or, truth be told, even a mediocre Wii game would be better than this.

What were they thinking? The lameness of this game is a slap in the face to every NERF aficionado ever born and, quite frankly, those still in the womb.

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