Lydia and the Pandering Pink Playstation2

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posted 9/14/2006 by Lydia Graslie
other articles by Lydia Graslie
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I'm fairly tough on my consoles, I admit. Not that I throw them through walls or anything, but I use them extensively. So I can give you maybe a bit of slack as far as the PS2s. But I can't do that with computers. I need those to work all the time. When I bought my Vaio from you last summer I fully expected it to be dependable. I was so...wrong.
 
Everything worked fine for the first year. I had no problems, except for the ones I created myself. Then in May everything started slowing down and locking up. It was overheating because the fan was broken, so I sent it off to get it fixed and waited. Well, to make a long story shorter it took a month before anyone discovered that the root of my problems was a defective hard drive. So the Vaio was sent out again. It came back, and it still didn't work. The replacement hard drive that had been installed was also defective. I had no choice but to send it off yet again to be fixed. 27 days, Sony. That's how long it took for me to get a working computer. 27 days.
 
And then...something happened.
 
I realized who you are.
 
You are not my friend.
 
You are not a hip authority figure with money and power, who also just happens to put out video games.
 
You are a con. You have deceived me with the lure of a stable alternate reality, whiled thousands of dollars from my trusting hands, and crammed me into a demographic box marked "girl".
 
Yeah, I know you say you can change. Everybody says that when they're faced with a crisis like this. You try to convince people that its not that bad. Well guess what? It is that bad. Its time to stop blindly chasing wild and fantastic pipe dreams and accept the reality that you have overextended yourself to the nth degree. It was in your best interest financially to put out the cheapest possible product, so you did it. Less money towards product, more money towards advertising...it was a worthy formula. But in the process of cornering the market, you forgot one very important thing: the gamers. Gamers, who like me, are poor. Gamers who can see past the PR bullcrap. Gamers who might just get offended if you thrust Barbie McConsole upon us and declare it "hip". You know what whole story about the emperor's new clothes? Well Sony, you're buck naked in the middle of Times Square, and I'm gonna shout it to the world.
            Goodbye.





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