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Horizons Broadening Project - 2009: Europa Universalis III

by: Randy -
More On: Europa Universalis III
Over at Gamers With Jobs (an intelligent and articulate group of guys, but thankfully never all-knowing), co-founder Sean "Elysium" Sands is commencing a "Horizons Broadening Project - 2009."  Once a month he'll be going out of his way to play a videogame genre that he wouldn't normally.  Hey, you can't like everything in the first place, so I certainly don't judge.  Sean picked out Birth of America II for his project in January; it's one of those games where "deep" is an obvious understatement when it comes to descriptors for the level of strategy-building involved.  He'll play for a month and then do a write-up. I'm not nearly so committed, but I'll humor the idea for now.

To follow suit with the "deep" strategy genre, one that I've never dipped my toe into (sorry, Sid Meier, your games are so easy they play themselves after a while) I picked up Europa Universalis III - Complete.  The original is about a year old, but the Complete version comes with the In Nomine and Napoleon's Ambition expansion packs. This game is no joke.  Even the tutorials--which are so vague that they have the gall to provide "hints"--assumes I've already had four cups of coffee and roll with an IQ of 120 or greater.

Deep breath, Randy.  You can do this. 

I've only had time to dabble for a few moments in the full-length singleplayer campaign, so I hopped around a few times just to get a feel for my options.  The results were less than flattering...
As England

Without Cassus Belli (justification for an act of war), my allies in Portugal were disgusted with my decision to invade Ireland, even though my advisers were whispering into my ear that Ireland was incapable of ruling itself, and so it was my duty (divine right) as England's ruler to bring it under the Crown.  I sieged one of Ireland's southeastern townships, and after 427 days of pounding on their walls, that city fell to my cannons--or actually, fell to eventual starvation and disease.  But not before France sent an emmisary with a warning for me to cease and desist--which I didn't--so France handed me my hat and kicked me out of my satellite colony in Southern France.  Confused by this turn of events (and since I haven't gotten all the rules down yet), the Irish city I waylaid sued for peace and bought their town back for 45 ducats, a paltry sum.  Plus, my people would've been feeling the initial effects of war fatigue, but I'd hired Geoffrey Chaucer to be one of my righthand men, and his literary skill--sheesh, he was something of a national treasure--must've been like bread & circuses for the unwashed masses.

As Maya


Another time, I ruled the Mayan empire in Central America's Yucatan Peninsula for a few rounds.  I managed to marry off a daughter to the Mixtec people's of Central Mexico, and ally myself with the Aztecs of Northern.  Then I sat stagnant, unsure of how to advance my nation's economic and technological bars.  With nothing more than 1,000 troops at my disposal and a daughter married off to a powerful rival, I retired early and, due to my inactivity, was declared a "mad" ruler.

As Spain


Before that, I took control of the Spanish crown, and quickly declared it a heresy to speak out in any way, shape, or form against God, Jesus Christ, or the Holy Scriptures.  My advisers thought this was a brilliant move, then told me to erradicate every trace of non-Christianity from the Iberian Peninsula (modern day Spain).  I marched thousands of troops south to face a city full of Moors.  Those Sunnis up from Africa soundly curb-stomped my face into the Rock of Gibraltar.

This game is nuts.  I've cracked open maybe 5% of my options as a national leader.  The learning curve on it is more like a learning Mt. Fuji.  If that makes sense.  I'm excited to grow more--even if the game insists I learn through its school of hard knocks.