This Week in Defunct Games 28

Every week Cyril Lachel comes down from his giant castle in the hills to provide the final word on all of the classic downloadable games and retro compilations. This is the Retro Round-Up, your official guide to the best (and worst) in classic gaming for the Nintendo Virtual Console, Xbox Live Arcade and PlayStation Network. Join us as we shed some light on what games are worth your five or ten dollars, and what games you should avoid at all costs. For more information about these games (and retro gaming in general) we invite you to check out Defunct Games. This week we yearn for the days when Nintendo and Microsoft were actually uploading good retro games. Unfortunately this week we have to talk about one of Nintendo`s most disappointing games of all time, a terrible 3D shooter and yet another old school sports game that doesn`t stack up. Maybe next week will be better. But for now, why not check out this week`s games just for the heck of it ...

Super Thunder Blade
What Is It?
Do you remember a month ago when each week we were inundated by nothing but amazing Virtual Console games? Every Monday there were almost too many great games, people had to turn down a few worthwhile purchases because they simply didn`t have the cash to buy them all. Well, apparently September is the month when you go back and buy all of those games you missed, because so far this month`s Virtual Console games have sucked. Unfortunately we have to start with Super Thunder Blade, an embarrassing 3D shooter where you control a helicopter dodging buildings and shooting down bad guys. This was one of the Sega Genesis` very first games, and after spending a few seconds with it you can see the age. The 3D effects are absolutely horrendous and the difficulty is through the roof. The biggest problem with this game is that it`s based on an arcade game that wasn`t much fun to begin with, you basically do the same thing from level to level and the game just never becomes fun. There`s no reason that Nintendo should have uploaded this game before the far superior Star Fox, Super Thunder Blade is terrible on so many levels.

Does It Still Hold Up?
I`ll give Sega credit for at least trying to do 3D effects on a system that struggled with anything other than 2D, but Super Thunder Blade is a joke. The 3D effects are so bad that it`s hard not to get sick from watching them. Unfortunately the terrible scaling is only the start of the problem; the controls are also a mess. Couple this with the fact that the game is almost impossible to beat and you have a game that probably shouldn`t be played by anybody.

Is It Worth the Money?
No! I`m a huge fan of the Sega Genesis, but this console is definitely not meant to play 3D shooters. Even more offensive is that Nintendo is charging $8 for this garbage. It`s times like these when I feel like I should rant about how not every Genesis game is same and they are not all worth the full $8. If you really want Super Thunder Blade (and I`m not sure why you would) then do yourself a favor and buy the Sega Genesis Collection for the PSP/PS2. At least with that game you can play Super Thunder Blade for a few minutes (long enough to know it`s utter trash) and then move on to the other 29 games in the package...