WiiWare Limerick Theater
Every week Nintendo announces their new Virtual Console offerings. But what you may not know is that they also announce the newest games for the Wii's specialized WiiWare channel. This is the place where you can download cheap smaller games, the type of titles you would only pay a few dollars for. Thus far we haven't spent much time covering these hidden gems, but today that's going to end. Starting today we're going to cover the WiiWare line-up just as we would any other section. To keep things consistent, we have decided to post all WiiiWare reviews in the form of a limerick. This week we come up with some rhymes about a Final Fantasy IV sequel, Fish'em All, Swords & Soldiers and Texas Hold'em!
Final Fantasy IV: The After Years (Square Enix)
There once was a jerk named Kain and he's starting to act insane. He filled a pool with diesel to attract a guy named Cecil and that's just the start of his evil campaign.
Fish'em All! (Abylight)
There once was a game called Fish'em All and it almost got me into a brawl. I almost grabbed the knife to stab when my friend stole my crab, but he was already giving the police a call.
Swords & Soldiers (Ronimo Games)
I once decided to train with a sword, it's because I was really bored. But after losing a thumb I realized it was dumb, and I let somebody else deal with the killer horde.
Texas Hold'em Tournament (Digital Leisure)
Texas Hold'em is fun, that's for sure. And I have a hunch that you'll concur. Why are you being a joker? Quit calling it poker. 'Cause it's true that I barely knew her.
The Great DSiWare Haiku
Not content with the Virtual Console and WiiWare, Nintendo has decided to offer up a THIRD avenue for downloading games. That's right, it's the DSiWare, and it's the best (and only) way to download games to your brand new Nintendo DSi. Each week we take a look at Nintendo's uploads through the form of poetry. Haiku, to be exact. Will these reviews help your purchase of DSiWare games? Nah, but they're a lot of fun to read. See for yourself when we review Mario vs. Donkey Kong: Minis March Again and Mighty Flip Champs!
Mario vs. Donkey Kong: Minis March Again! (Nintendo)
Think you can stop us?
We're small and taking you down.
Like Gary Coleman!
Mighty Flip Champs (WayForward)
We jump all around.
And we flip over your head.
We live a sad life.
The Argument Over Xbox Live Arcade
Now that you've had your fill of the Virtual Console, maybe it's time to check out This Week in Xbox Live Arcade. This is the part of our show where we take a look at the brand new Xbox Live Arcade titles, and then review them using our unique POINT/COUNTERPOINT style. In these reviews I will make a solid point about a game, and then I will argue the other side just to confuse everything. What do I really think about this week's Xbox Live Arcade game? I guess you'll never know. Instead you get what has to be the single least useful review ever posted on this website. This week Sega decided to upload six classic 8- and 16-bit games. We're talking about Altered Beast, Gunstar Heroes, Comix Zone, Phantasy Star, Shinobi (Arcade) and Sonic the Hedgehog 3. While these are some good games, we've decided to review the full package.
Sega's Vintage Classics 2 (Sega/$5 per game)
Point:
For the most part these Sega Vintage Classics are worth owning. I love Comix Zone, Phantasy Star II and Gunstar Heroes. But why the high price tag, Sega? For the price of these six games you could get the entire Sonic's Ultimate Genesis collection, which not only features five of these games, but also offers 43 other titles to choose from. There's no reason for Sega to offer these games in both formats. And really, there's even less reason for you to give in to Sega's lame money grab and buy them individually. Run to the store RIGHT NOW and pick up Sonic's Ultimate Genesis Collection, it's one
of the best compilation discs in years.
Counterpoint:
Yes, Sonic's Ultimate Genesis Collection is a strong release. I love that there are almost 50 games for less than the price of a standard Xbox 360 game. But I think you're missing the point of these six releases. Sega has actually added content to some of these releases. For example, some of these games now have two-player online support. And all of them have achievements to earn. And what about Gunstar Heroes? That game isn't even part of Sonic's Ultimate Genesis Collection. That's one of the best 16-bit games of all time and it's not part of the Ultimate Genesis package? Even if you ignore most of this collection, make sure and pick up Gunstar Heroes for the two-player Xbox Live support.
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